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Turbo's Season Review

So, another season over.  2009 could best be described as a transition period, with the first change in senior coach since we entered the VAFA.  With this came some new training techniques, playing styles and positions that we are clearly still in the process of perfecting.  On top of that, consider the following list of players who moved on/retired/only made cameos in 2009: Roger Anderson; Matt Bell; Simon Cook; Matt Cumming; Paul Domaingue; Patrick Doyle; Rohan Freeman; Matt Halbert; Dave Martini; Ian Oldfield; Brad Olson; Dayle Olson; Craig Plunkett; Geoff Pryor; Paul Quirk; Attila Sallantioglu; Shannon Smith; Glenn Weston.  Each of these players was a walk-up start into our best 44 in 2008.  When you add the fact that we no longer had the surplus playing list of the Dragons to call on in times of need, it was always going to be difficult to cover that loss of depth.  Nobody was affected by this loss of depth more than Gaggs who, despite being a great coach and one of the best blokes you’ll ever meet (yeah I was laughing while typing that, but it stays), had very little to work with each week as coach of the twos.
 
Now that I’ve dragged you all down into the depths of despair, allow me to hoist you back out by recounting some of the highlights of 2009:
 
The prize for funniest moment of 2009 is a shared one: firstly to Blakey, who was finally given the opportunity to show his wares in the round 17 clash against Manningham.  Those who saw his fumble and subsequent sook about what I will kindly describe as a cruel bounce were in stitches.  This was matched and probably exceeded by an incident in an impromptu post-training game of hacky sack in which a firmly kicked footy travelled about 50cm from Langers’ boot directly into Lost’s face.  People who witnessed either incident will have fond memories for years to come.

• A new cult figure wandered into Elgar Park in about mid-February.  Known to most as Harro (first name Stephen, come on admit you didn’t know that until now), his big bald head, strong hands and erratic kicking boot became fixtures in the Box Hill North forward line in 2009.  He is perhaps best known though for his backpack on wheels and the fact that a beer magically appears in his hands as soon as he walks into the rooms after a match.
  
• As well as Harro, a number of other players pulled on the BHN guernsey for the first time in 2009.  Most notable of these were potential reality TV stars Neal, who rumour has it made it into the top 100 of Australian Idol, and Pritch, who is planning to try out for the next series of So You Think You Can Dance.
  
• On-field highlights were few and far between in 2009 but the most enjoyable was the win against Manningham in the second last round of the season.  The heartbreak of losing on the siren last time around looked set to burn even longer with the Cobras kicking seven goals to two in the first quarter.  However the tables were turned with Box Hill North kicking 17 goals to five in the remaining three quarters to run out easy 42-point winners, somewhat dulling the pain of the previous capitulation.  For those who aren’t aware, Manningham’s goal tally for the last three quarters matched Turbo’s scoreboard output for the game (as if I wasn’t going to mention that).

OK that is it from me for the year.  I will be back bigger and better in 2010.  At the very least I will be back.
 
Until next year, this is Turbo saying “smell ya later”.

Round 18 – Box Hill North v Eley Park

So this is it.  After what has surely been the windiest winter in recent memory we have reached our final game for 2009, a clash against local rivals Eley Park at their home ground Whitehorse Reserve. Due to renovations to the ground and other reasons we have not played at Whitehorse Reserve since 2006, although our one game there did result in a win.  Being three years since we last played there, that result is largely irrelevant.  What is more relevant is our form in the last couple of weeks, which has been a vast improvement on the majority of the previous 15.  If the teamwork and intensity displayed in our brave match against Kew and our convincing victory over Manningham are on show on again this week it will go a long way to reversing the result of the round 9 clash between these two sides, which resulted in a 55-point win to Eley Park.  That match was the week after the last-quarter debacle against Manningham so perhaps that was still playing on our minds a week later?  Either way, just like last week, there is massive incentive for retribution this week as that loss earlier in the season was our first ever against Eley Park.  Our ruck stocks have been improved this week with Coxy returning from injury and Lost coming into the side largely unaffected by copping a footy in the face from close-range during last night’s hackey-sack extravaganza, allowing Listo to have first crack at the always-dangerous D.Viola.  This key match-up could be the one that decides whether we finish the season on a high with a bit of momentum going into 2010.
 
The Supers had their last game last week, but while the team itself is done for the season it seems that many of the members of that team are keen for one more game of footy in 2009.  Fortunately for them they get the opportunity in this week’s reserves game, with the like of Pratty, Woodsy, Jeff D’Amato and games record holder John Tsaclidis lining up in this week’s game.  The last time JT laced up the boots for the senior club was in 2003 so this has obviously been a long time coming.  Will he have the same impact now that I as an impressionable 19-year-old remembering him having back then?  He was only semi-old then but he is officially old now so probably not.  That being said Dovo is about 60 and is still a great contributor so he will be far from a liability.  At the very least our more inexperienced players will learn something by watching how these veterans go about it, and if it rubs off straight away we may just see the season finish off on a high note with win number three. As an added incentive this would in all likelihood see us avoid the dreaded wooden spoon, which would be a nice way to finish a season mostly devoid of highlights.
 
Until next week (well probably not but I’m a creature of habit), this is Turbo saying “I don’t wanna serve out my term naked in a tube”.

Round 17 – Box Hill North v Manningham Cobras

Throughout the history of football there have been some great injustices.  Barry Breen’s wobbly point giving St Kilda the 1966 premiership; Wayne Harmes knocking a footy that was about 5 metres over the boundary line back into play resulting in the goal that won the 1979 grand final; Nathan Buckley only winning one Brownlow Medal.  The list goes on.  Another of football’s great injustices occurred in round eight this year when Box Hill North squandered a 33-point lead at the 10-minute mark of the last quarter against Manningham Cobras only to see the last kick of the day sail through the goals as the siren sounded to hand the Cobras a famous victory.  The chance for atonement has finally come, as this week sees the return match between these bitter local rivals.  Any loss after leading by that much stings like very few things can, but for it to happen against a club such as Manningham makes it hurt all that much more.  After a shocker against LaTrobe two weeks ago last week’s performance against Kew was much more encouraging, and but for some wayward kicking for goal in the last quarter we may have even walked away victorious.  However as we all know that match was simply a warm-up for this week.  If there is one game a year you don’t want to lose it’s against the Cobras at home, and if the determination shown on the track recently and in last week’s game are replicated in this week’s performance, that won’t happen and the result will somewhat dull the pain of that forgettable day two months ago.
 
Onto the twos, who unlike the seniors got over the line back in round 8 and hence don’t really have vengeance on their minds coming into this week’s game.  Even so, the despair that comes after a loss to the Cobras is a feeling that nobody likes so the boys will be keen to maintain their unbeaten record against them.  After serving as the man white for the first 16 rounds of the season, Blakey has been named in the team for this week despite reneging on his promise to train on Thursday night.  Having Blakey in the side will surely inspire the rest of the side to work harder than usual, either through necessity or through wanting him to be part of a winning team as a reward for his work with the whistle in 2009 (I’ll let you decide which one).  If that’s not incentive enough, there have been whispers that Gaggs will be pulling on the boots this week.  It is yet to be confirmed whether that will be in the twos or on Sunday in the supers.  I for one hope it is in the twos. No, not for the amusement factor, but because he is a man who leads by example and if all who play this week follow that example win number three for the season is that much more likely to come to fruition.
 
Until next week, this is Turbo saying “I’m a patient, reasonable, handsome man – but even I have my limits”.

Round 16 – Box Hill North v Kew

I think we can all agree that the less said about last week the better, so I will not make any comment on the game against LaTrobe Uni.  I especially won’t make any comment about the umpires, for if I did it would surely land myself and the club in a fair bit of trouble.  So on to this week where we are back home at Elgar Park to take on fourth-placed Kew, who will be coming into this match brimming with confidence after last week’s clash with Albert Park.  Despite losing that game the margin was a solitary point, which is a very good performance against a side of Albert Park’s quality.  Further confidence for Kew will be drawn from the last time this week’s combatants met, in round three this year.  Like most games this year we were able to run with them for a quarter and a bit before eventually falling away and losing by 104 points, conceding 19 goals to our four after going into quarter time one point down.  Whilst Kew will certainly be confident, they will also be wary of dropping a game they look destined to win.  They can’t afford to lose any of the last three as they are only a game ahead of sixth-placed South Mornington, so a finals berth is yet to be assured.  Remember that thing I said last week about “shaping the finals”?  We didn’t quite manage it last week, but this week we get another chance.  Let’s not achieve the same result…
 
For the first time in a while, the reserves side that was read out last night contained at least 20 guys who will actually be a good chance to take the field on Saturday.  Despite last week’s margin there were some positive signs, namely the most complete performance from Langers since coming back from injury and the welcome return of the second best Presti to ever play footy.  Another tough ask this week, as Kew have overcome some uncharacteristically shaky reserves form earlier in the season to be back where we are used to seeing them, i.e. towards the top of the ladder and with a better record than their senior side.  Furthermore, the Club XVIII season finished last week and the Kew thirds missed the finals, so the pool of available players has virtually doubled overnight.  This does not bode well for a close game, however Kew have not played at Elgar Park since 2004, so this could possibly have some bearing on the final result.  Either way, how nice a win would be to lead into Carnival Night tomorrow, which will surely be the most fun-filled evening ever seen in the City of Whitehorse.
 
Until next week, this is Turbo saying “I told you to shave those sideburns”.

Round 15 – Box Hill North v La Trobe Uni

“Shaping the finals”.  This phrase is often bandied about at this stage of the season by clubs which are no chance of actually making the finals.  While it is just a phrase there is some merit in it as clubs already assured of finals action start taking games a bit easier so as to keep them fresh for September, and clubs whose season is effectively over valiantly attempt to restore some pride in what has been a largely disappointing season.  One such opportunity presents itself this week as we travel out to biggest football ground in the southen hemisphere at Bundoora to take on the best side in D4 since, well probably West Brunswick, that being La Trobe Uni.  After 12 rounds the students were flying, undefeated with a percentage of 246.  The last couple of weeks however have thrown up some interesting results, with a loss to fellow D3 aspirant Albert Park followed by a match against Eley Park in which the Sharks were just three goals down at three-quarter time before La Trobe ran away with it in the last.  Certainly the students aren’t performing quite to the high standard they set for themselves earlier in the season, so this quite possibly gives us an opening.  Whilst the round 4 clash between the two sides ended with a hefty 126-point margin in La Trobe’s favour, the first ten minutes of the first quarter was all Box Hill North.  Of course ten good minutes will rarely win you a game of football so something more closely resembling a four-quarter performance will be required to cause the upset of the season and shape the finals.
 
The finals-shaping theme is also relevant for the reserves this week who will be looking to avoid a repeat of the 172-point loss handed out by La Trobe in round 4.  In what was one of the more one-sided games in recent history La Trobe racked up 50 scoring shots to our three, a 47-shot differential which I would surely need to enlist the help of Listo to find a match for in club history.  OK that is probably enough negativity for now.  No doubt La Trobe will be expecting a similar margin this time around considering they are sitting on top of the ladder with a percentage in excess of 400.  That said, they did lose as recently as round 13 so it’s not as though they are unbeatable.  Our best chance to avoid a smashing may be if the rain that is forecast comes down in droves, making scoring on a large ground difficult.  Unfortunately they do not struggle to score on that ground, as their average score at home this year is 153 with a percentage of 524 compared to an away average score of 124 with a percentage of 376.  Those stats certainly do not bode well for an upset victory, but stranger things have happened.  Maybe.
 
Until next week, this is Turbo saying “purple’s a fruit”.

Round 14 – Box Hill North v North Brunswick

Having only won two games for the season so far, it is quite easy to remember who our vanquished opponents were.  One of them was this week’s opponent North Brunswick, who were on the wrong end of a 28-point margin when the two sides met earlier this season at their home (well home for 2009, anyway) turf.  Being able to run out the game better was the main catalyst for that win, as a five goal to two final quarter put beyond doubt the result of what was by and large a see-sawing battle for three quarters.  Not being able to run with our opponents in the last quarter has been a feature of quite a few of our losses this year (especially recently), so it would be a nice change if we could repeat the effort that was shown at Fleming Park in round 7.  You would think we have an advantage with this game being at Elgar Park, but we are yet to triumph at home this year so home-ground advantage will not get the job done.  As tends to happen the week after a game against Mt Lilydale we have a few outs, but the loss of these players is tempered somewhat by the return of a couple of key players – Captain Sneeze aka Dan who has missed the last couple with a bit of a sniffle, and Stifler (the only man at BHN who is blonder than Crazy) who hasn’t played since being injured against this mob last time around.  Will these inclusions be enough to make it two from two against North Brunswick?  Maybe, but of course not unless everybody else plays to the standard they set when we notched victory number one for 2009.
 
This week’s game against North Brunswick seniors, er I mean reserves, will be no easy task.  A hefty 134-point loss was the result earlier on in the season, something which the boys who line up tomorrow will no doubt be keen to avoid repeating.  With their seniors well out of finals contention it is normally around this time of the year where North Brunswick start focusing on preparations for reserves finals, so it is anyone’s guess how many senior players (who for whatever reason have yet to play the ten games required to become ineligible for playing reserves finals) will line up in the early game this week.  That is not to say that North Brunswick will just be littering the side with purely senior players, as to their credit the traditional discrepancy between their seniors and reserves results has as much to do with a very even spread of talent as it does with any external perception of ‘stacking’.  Clearly this year we have not been blessed with this depth, but each time the reserves run out onto the ground you know they will be giving everything they have so regardless of the result the match itself should be a hotly contested affair.  If the moustachioed man who was named in the forward pocket ends up playing this week, that in itself will worth coming down to see.
 
Until next week, this is Turbo saying “girls should stick to girl’s sports such as hot-oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such”.

Round 13 – Box Hill North v Mt Lilydale

The weather has been quite lovely so far this week.   Not too cold or windy, with just a hint of rain here or there.  Perfect football conditions, really.  It’s a shame that this week we have to travel to Mt Lilydale, a location synonymous with cold, wind and rain.  And its not just the temperatures that are cold up there, as the kind of sledging visiting teams receive from the Mt Lilydale crowd is unrivalled in D4 and quite possibly the whole VAFA.  This is something Box Hill North has had trouble combating in the past as our two visits up there in recent times have resulted in heavy losses not helped by a lack of discipline.  Overcoming this is something that presents a big challenge, and will go a long to achieving our first senior win against this mob.  Another thing we have had trouble combating when coming up against Mt Lilydale is D4’s premier follower Michael Rhodes, who has given us a bath most times these two sides have met.  Quite ironic really, as bathing is not a strong suit of the Mountain Men.  Fortunately for us he has not played a game since round 4 and apparently won’t front up for the rest of the season.  They have won 6 of 8 since he last played which indicates that others have stepped up (which hasn’t occurred in previous seasons, e.g. last year’s elimination final against Albert Park), so his absence may not be as advantageous as we may have otherwise thought.  One thing is for sure though – if full-forward Justin Roberts is as fixated on Listo’s shorts as he was in round 1, they will need to find avenues to goal other than their leading goalkicker for 2009 if they wish to maintain their surge towards the finals.
 
Playing against Mt Liyldale in the twos used to be fun.  In 2007 they had just come up from Club XVIII so their depth was sorely lacking, and in our first encounter with them we took full advantage of the fact with a 184-point victory.  Fast forward two years and that depth has improved to the point where the Mt Lilydales reserves are doing just as well their seniors, currently sitting fourth on the ladder with 8 wins and 4 losses whereas we are currently languishing in second last place with just two wins from our 12 games.  This points to a one-sided affair coming up, however the last few weeks have seen vast improvement in our results so our current ladder position may not be a true indication of how we are travelling just at the moment.  Ask Langers and I’m sure he will still tell you that it is all him.  Mt Lilydale’s comfortable victory over us in round one had a lot to do with the performance of the blonde-headed Andrew Rodwell who kicked a lazy seven goals from the midfield.  We all figured he would get the call-up to the ones pretty soon after that but it was not to be and hence we will probably have to contend with him again this time around.  Stopping him may prove vital in attempting to win our third game for the season and keep our chances of not claiming the wooden spoon alive.
 
Until next week, this is Turbo saying “I didn’t need moulded plastic to improve my physique”.

Round 12 – Box Hill North v South Mornington

The road trip down to South Mornington is rarely a pleasant one – the drive itself isn’t too bad but once you’re there you feel like turning right back around and driving home.  Fortunately for us that won’t be a problem this week as for the first time since round 1 2007 the gentlemen (and I use the term loosely) from the peninsula are the ones hitting the road to meet us at Elgar Park for what will be the 5th meeting between the two teams.  The first three meetings went our way but South Mornington well and truly turned the tables earlier this year, handing us our biggest loss for the season so far to the tune of 148 points.  Most will agree that we have faced a number of better teams this year, which makes that margin even more embarrassing and provides even greater motivation for wanting to turn the tables.  One gets the feeling that something different will be needed to get the job done, which possibly explains why Leon skipped training last night to take in the So You Think You Can Dance live spectacular at Rod Laver Arena.  Was he studying the moves with a view to possibly incorporating some of them into his playing style?  Only time will tell.  On a serious note, it would be remiss of me to not congratulate Alfie for making it to the 50-game milestone (technically 51) after what seems like forever.  Let’s give him a reason to celebrate!
 
Buoyed by last week’s victory over Swinburne, the rejuventated reserves have an opportunity to move up the ladder to as high as ninth if other results go our way this week. This would be a great credit to the way Gaggs has dealt with the adversity of not always having much to pick from.  Although helped a little by a couple of senior players who had dropped back to help out with numbers last week, the majority of last week’s victorious team will be lining up again so there is a reasonable chance that we will see the first winning streak for 2009, albeit a 2-match winning streak (I’m sure we are happy to take what we can get at the moment).  The milestones keep rolling in too, with senior coach Mark Hood lining up for his 50th game for Box Hill North.  This is a great effort on his behalf especially seeing as he had not planned to pull on the boots at all this year - as you can probably tell by looking at him he didn’t do a pre-season.  Was mentioning that a good idea for me?  Probably not, seeing as he is both my coach and landlord.  But I digress.
 
Until next week, this is Turbo saying “you will be called Stitchface”.

Round 11 – Box Hill North v Swinburne Uni

In case anyone was wondering, I got back from Adelaide safe and well (I refused to drink any water while I was over there) so here I am again with another fun-filled and informative edition of Turbo’s Friday Preview.  Fresh from our ten-goal victory over Chadstone, another good opportunity for a win presents itself this week as we take on recently relegated Swinburne Uni (whose relegation seems to have started a trend for teams whose home ground is called St James’ Park). Like all relegated sides that come down to D4 they have some very handy footballers pulling on the jumper each week, however results so far suggest Swinburne is the weaker of the two relegated clubs.  Is this because they rely on too few of the previously mentioned ‘handy footballers’?  Quite possibly.  Take for example ex-Collingwood VFL listed player Attila Yaman, who has taken D4 by storm (as you would expect from someone who was playing VFL football as recently as last year), booting 66 goals in 10 games.  This represents 44% of Swinburne’s overall goal tally for the year, so it’s fair to say they rely on him to kick a winning score.  Should we manage to keep him to a low goal tally it will go a long way to winning the game.  If there is any incentive needed, my spies tell me that if we do happen to win the game Kaine will be shouting the team 40 chicken nuggets from McDonald’s – 37 for himself, with the remaining three to be divided equally amongst the other 21 players.

It seems that the weekly SMS that we send out for free courtesy of the wonderful folk at RedTxt is having some kind of effect.  Yesterday’s message related to the large number of spots up for grabs this week, and lo and behold our resident man in white Blakey donned the training gear and went through his paces in the hope of being selected for this week’s game.  Alas it was not to be, however I’m sure the 22 who were selected will be able to put their disappointement at his non-selection behind them and focus on the task at hand.  This is a very winnable game for the 2s, as uni holidays perhaps means that some of the Swinburne playing list who hail from the country are currently unavailable for selection.  Last week’s 124-point loss to Eley Park suggests this may be the case.  Rumours abound that this may be Chris Langley’s last game for the club, although some people believe he has started this rumour himself to get a mention in this column.  The reserves are yet to lose a game with Langers in the side, and he will tell you that it’s no coincidence (nor will he tell that it was just the one game).  I get the feeling that after this weekend it may be two from two.

Until next week, this is Turbo saying “abortions for some, miniature American flags for others”.

Round 10 – Box Hill North v Chadstone

First off, I’d just like to apologise if this week’s column isn’t to the extremely high standard I have set in the last year or so.  Normally when I write this we are just 24 hours away from the excitement of the next round of football, however this time I have penned this on a dull and boring Wednesday afternoon, as on Friday (or today, depending on whether you are writing this or reading it) I will be on my way to dull and boring Adelaide for my cousin’s wedding.  The game I will be missing will be against Chadstone, the club formerly known as Syndal Tally Ho (I wonder if they will change their name again to just a symbol in a few years).  For the first time this year we are coming up against a team lower than us on the ladder, although this obviously does not guarantee a win.  Chaddy will be as keen as mustard to atone for last week’s 181-point smashing at the hands of Mt Lilydale, and they will no doubt be seeing this match against a team with just one win for the season as a golden opportunity to break their duck for 2009.  Without wanting to be disrespectful to Chadstone it will be embarrassing for the club if we lose to them, if for no reason other than it would mean we have twice in a row lost to teams that had never beaten us previously.  That is a black mark I’m certain the 22 who run out on Saturday do not want to have against their names.  On a brighter note, this game will be a good opppotunity to see Aff with the footy in his hands rather than those feminine beverages he was consuming ad nauseum (cryptic pun intended) on Saturday night.
 
Despite the final margin in last week’s reserves loss to Eley Park, there were definite signs that the second half of the year is going to be more fruitful than the first half (not that that would be difficult).  Like the seniors, this is the first time this year the opponent is lower on the ladder than we are, so again much like the seniors this represents a prime opportunity to double the 2009 win tally.  But of course we are well aware that ladder postions can often mean little in reserves footy, where injuries/unavailabilities/poor from in the seniors means that a reserves team can look much different to the one that played the week before.  This lends itself to some unexpected results, much like the one a couple of weeks ago where Chadstone won their only game so far this season against the kings of 2’s footy North Brunswick.  Considering we lost by 134 points to the same team, anyone expecting an easy victory in this one has got another thing coming.  They should believe however that the result is in their control.  The win against Manningham was achieved by 22 players all giving everything they had – if this is repeated on Saturday the new boys will get another opportunity to learn the club song which has been sung all too rarely of late.
 
Until next week, this is Turbo saying “$20 can buy many peanuts”.

Round 9 – Box Hill North v Eley Park

Collingwood vs Carlton.  Collingwood vs Essendon.  Collingwood vs Richmond.  Collingwood vs Brisbane (anyone noticing a trend here?)  These are some of the greatest rivalries in the AFL.  From all reports the VAFA has some pretty decent rivalries too, so much so that this week has been labelled ‘Rivalry Round’, whereby many of these rivalries will be put on show on the one weekend.  The growing rivalry between Box Hill North and Eley Park certainly fits the bill.  Not only does the close proximity between the two clubs mean that they are often competing on the recruitment front, but the last couple of years have seen some real ding-dong battles between the two sides.  Everyone (especially those from Eley Park) remembers a couple of years ago when Dan Penny kicked a goal after the siren to eke out a last-gasp victory, and last year’s clash was just as exciting with a mere six points separating the two sides at the end of the game.  Fair to say that Eley Park are very keen to atone for those narrow losses, and recent form (a win over Kew and a three-quarter time lead against Mt Lilydale) suggests that they are a good chance.  You get the feeling though that this rivalry has the makings of the type where form and ladder positions have little impact on how the match pans out, so this is really anyone’s game.  Will there be more Penny heroics, or will someone else step up and play their part in building up this rivalry even more?  I for one can’t wait to find out.
 
Relief was the primary feeling amongst the reserves last week, as a hard-fought victory over the Manningham Cobras was the first for the year.  Now that the duck has been broken, the boys are now hungry for more and will no doubt be giving their all to make it two wins in the space of two weeks.  Reserves clashes between these two sides have historically been one-sided affairs, generally in our favour.  However last year’s match bucked that trend, Eley Park running out 41-point winners on the back of a couple of senior players who were coming back from injury.  My spies tell me that neither of those two will be lining up in the early game this time around, but this year’s results suggest that the depth of the Sharks has improved significantly, so it will certainly require an effort just as good as last week’s to get over the line in this one.  One thing you can say about Eley Park is that they never give in, so the only sure thing is that both teams will be well and truly knackered by the end of it.  A win in this one would be the perfect lead in to Saturday night’s Op Shop Party where we will hopefully be treated to the (apparently) dulcet tones of one N.Crossan, if he can pry the mic from D.Penny’s vice-like grip that is…
 
Until next week, this is Turbo saying “these people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined.”

 
Round 8 – Box Hill North v Manningham Cobras

A very strange thing happened last week (actually it was two weeks ago due to the league-wide bye, as you would remember from how good the body felt on Sunday morning).  After a horror six weeks to start the season, we actually had a win!  Needless to say there were at least of couple of members of that victorious team whose rendition of the club song consisted of nothing more than attempting to hum the tune.  They may just get another opportunity to learn the song this week as we take on the recently re-named Manningham Cobras, whose win-loss record of 1 and 6 is identical to ours.  Koonung Reserve has not been a happy hunting ground in the past as we have never defeated the Cobras at their generally lush home turf, so we will have to create history if we are to double our win tally for 2009.  However with the kind of personnel turnover you get in football, especially at D4 level, this shouldn’t really be an issue.  There are whispers that gun midfielder Ben Cookson will be making his return from a broken jaw in this game, which will make the task more difficult than it otherwise would be.  If he does indeed play time will tell just how well the jaw has healed, and whether the mental recovery has matched the physical recovery (not that I’m trying to put ideas in the players’ heads). 
 
I’ve got a bit a dilemma when thinking of what to write about the reserves this week.  As you would all no doubt be aware, much of this section each week is taken up with sledging the mentor of this particular side.  However as this is the first time this year that Turbo will be participating in the early game, continuation of the regular baiting would no doubt be responded with by a benching or being mysteriously withdrawn from the side altogether (possibly better outcomes than spending the game in the backline, but I digress).  Just to be safe I will focus on the game instead.  With a number of players returning from injury after the break, this week’s selected side is the best on paper since round 1.  Odd positional selections aside, this game represents our best opportunity so far to put the first win on the board for 2009 in D4 reserve.  That is not to say victory is assured, as Manningham’s two-win season so far is quite possibly their highest number of wins in a year for some time.  The weather forecast calls for a very wet and cold day reminiscent of the conditions which prevailed the last time these teams met which resulted in a big victory to BHN, so let’s hope that history repeats itself this weekend.
 
Until next week, this is Turbo saying “ovulate, damn you, ovulate”.
 

Round 7 – Box Hill North v North Brunswick

We’re getting closer.  Sure, last week’s 69-point loss to Richmond was still a thrashing, but at least this time it was just one quarter that blew it for us, not three and a half like it had been the previous few weeks.  This week’s match against fellow cellar-dwellers North Brunswick represents our best chance so far to open our 2009 account, as they are also yet to taste victory this season.  This makes a nice change from the teams we have faced in the first six rounds who have compiled a combined win-loss record of 29-7 with a percentage of 173.2, compared to North Brunswick’s 0-6 and 44.1.  Make no mistake though, North Brunswick will be just as hungry to open their account as we are, so this will be another tough match and a win is by no means certain.  An unknown quantity will be the venue – North Brunswick are playing their home games this year at Fleming Park while the rooms at Allard Park undergo a much-needed makeover.  This may play into our hands as they have played just the one game there so far, so home ground advantage shouldn’t be a factor.  If I could stray from the topic for a second, I’d just like to mention that a certain ex-player who has made a couple of cameos this year whilst undertaking an important role at the club has got a new set of wheels - a Nissan Tiida if you can believe it!  Why would a male drive a car such as this you may ask?  Well I was definitely a bit curious and concerned about it until I found out the Tiida’s motto – “more room to move” – and then it all made perfect sense.
 
A much-improved performance by the reserves last week saw us right in the game until the last quarter which has not been the case in any match so far this season, so like the seniors it seems that we are closer to a win than ever before (well in 2009 anyway).  However unlike the seniors this week’s opponent is far from winless.  In fact the North Brunswick twos have a very impressive percentage of 234.1 to go with their 5 and 1 win-loss record.  Of course this discrepancy will come as no surprise to those who have been involved in D4 for a few years, and opinions differ as to why this has been the case. This year has seen a big injection of players at North Brunswick so perhaps the majority of those are solid but not spectacular, leading to increased depth but not necessarily great improvement at the top end of the playing list.  One catalyst for their great start to 2009 could be the presence of legendary D4 big man “Moose” Boudoloh who terrorised senior ruckmen and defenders for a number of years and is now winding down his career in the earlier game.  The match between the two sides last year was a cliff-hanger, with just 4 points separating the two sides at the final siren.  Fortunately we were the ones to win that day, and whilst it will be a tough ask to repeat that result, last week’s game showed that we are definitely heading in the right direction.
 
Until next week, this is Turbo saying “fingerprints are just like snowflakes – they’re both very pretty”.
 

Round 6 – Box Hill North v Richmond Central

It’s like déjà vu all over again this week as for the second game in a row we take on a team wearing the colours of AFL basket case Richmond Tigers.  Our opponent this week also hails from Richmond, unfortunately however it is us and not the Snakes from KB Reserve whose 2009 form most resembles that of the (not so) mighty Tigers.  Last week’s losing margin of 148 points was our largest so far this season and you have to go back to 2005 to find a bigger loss.  The margin was especially disappointing when you consider that South Mornington are arguably the third or fourth best side we have played this year, at best.  This week presents another big challenge as the much-improved Richmond Central are currently sitting fourth on the ladder having lost just one game for the year so far, a far cry from their performances for a large chunk of the last 5 years.  Having been down the bottom for so long means they are certainly enjoying the opportunity to atone for some massive thrashings handed out to them in recent seasons, and they will no doubt be viewing this week’s match as another opportunity to do just that.  I’m pretty sure our boys are sick of losing (and losing big) so the Snakes are surely in for a more challenging day than they will be expecting or hoping for.
 
Something gives me the feeling that the Richmond Central reserves side really doesn’t like playing Box Hill North.  We all remember round 14 last year when the most depleted BHN reserves side seen in many a year (at least four) came out and surprised everyone with a stirring victory that was the springboard to our run all the way to the preliminary final.  We also remember that the elimination final was another stirring victory over the Snakes, so fair to say they will be looking for revenge.  It also fair to say that this week’s side is at about the same level of depletion as the one from round 14 last year so we certainly have our work cut out for us.  Last week we finally got to see the evergreen Peter Kotsaridis make his return to footy, and boy was it worth the wait.  If everyone went in with the same endeavour that he does, we would win much more often than we lose.  That is the goal that each man who lines up in the reserves should strive for this week, and if they can all give the 103% that Kotsa does, the boys from Richmond might just find themselves once again walking away from a game against BHN with their Snake tails between their legs (not that snakes have legs, but you know what I’m getting at).
 
Until next week, this is Turbo saying, “the nice thing about that place is that Mary-Anne gets in the hammock with you”.

Round 5 – Box Hill North v South Mornington

Four points.  Four points.  Wherefore art thou, four points?  OK maybe I’m no Shakespeare but there is now no doubt that Box Hill North are as desperate for a win as Juliet was for some forbidden love with that lovable rogue Romeo.  Forbidden love is probably not the best topic to talk about in light of what has happened with Matthew Johns in the last few days so I might just stick to talking about the footy.  This week’s opponent South Mornington are much like last week’s foe LaTrobe in that they are a young side who like to run.  The difference between the two is that while LaTrobe’s quickness got on top of the bigger BHN bodies last week, South Mornington have not been able to do the same in their time in the VAFA thus far – we have never lost to them in senior football.  SM have a bit of reputation for inconsistency, although whereas in the past this was generally confined to being good at home and bad away results so far this year have been the reverse of this.  It is interesting to note that the week after our 83-point loss to Albert Park South Mornington lost to the same side by 94, at home no less.  Perhaps the key to this game will be for the guys who haven’t travelled down to Citation Oval before to not get lost on the way.  To them I advise not asking Stif or Akkers how best to get to the peninsula.  And speaking of lost, it’s good to see Nick Benbow being rewarded for his good performances in the twos and on the track with his first senior game for a few years. 
 
After a false start last week due to some administrative issues, this week sees the triumphant return of our ubiquitous president to the playing ranks of Box Hill North.  The man has been burning up the track the last couple of weeks and is raring to go, so the South Mornington twos are certainly going to have their hands full (with trying to keep his mouth shut at the very least).  Last week’s performance was a bit of a shambles, so the boys who are lining up this weekend would be best served forgetting about that very forgettable match and focusing their energies on the task at hand.  SM lost to an Eley Park team that was missing its leading goalkicker, so they are certainly beatable.  Obviously an improvement on the last few weeks is required, but with a few guys returning from injury we will no doubt see a bit more fluency and skill that has been somewhat lacking so far this season.  There have been good signs in patches, now is the opportune time for it all to click.  We must of course remember though that footy is just a game, and if we happen to again be unsuccessful there is no need to go to the lengths that the world’s most famous star-crossed lovers did to end their sorrow back in the day.
 
Until next week, this is Turbo saying “from now on the baby sleeps in the crib”.

Round 4 – Box Hill North v La Trobe Uni

The horror run to start the season continues this week as we take on La Trobe Uni, a team relegated from D3 last year.  Going by their results so far this year they are keen to make their stay in D4 a short one.  Going by our results so far this year they would be expecting this week’s game to be just another stepping stone in that goal.  Despite this, something tells me it won’t be quite as easy as they’re expecting.  La Trobe have played two of their three games at home on what is apparently the biggest and best playing surface in Victoria outside the AFL and the other on the wide expanses of Bulleen, so they are yet to experience a smaller ground such as Elgar Park.  My spies tell me that La Trobe like to run and use the space to their advantage, which is going to be a more difficult task at Elgar than it was in rounds one through three.  You get the feeling that the differing gameplans will have a strong bearing on the outcome of this match, so it is closer to an even money bet than one might otherwise suspect and a surprise Box Hill North victory is not out of the question. Of course this is dependent on our boys being able to stick to the gameplan for more than a quarter and a half, which is something we have been unable to do so far this year.  A four-quarter effort may just see us say ‘Harro’ to our first win for 2009.
 
The twos can consider themselves very lucky that logic does not exist in football.  Applying logic to this week’s game on past results (Kew beat BHN by 93 points last week, La Trobe beat Kew by 88 points in round 1) suggests that a record margin will be on the cards.  When you also consider that Kotsa has managed to find his way into the 22, that record margin seems to be a foregone conclusion.  However Box Hill North reserves have an uncanny knack of winning games they aren’t supposed to, and it often seems that the harder their backs are pinned to the wall the better they perform.  This spells trouble for the boys from Bundoora, who are riding high off the back of last week’s 153-point drubbing against Manningham.  Seeing as it is their first time in D4 for a long time they would not be aware that how you go against the Cobras reserves doesn’t really give you an accurate reflection of how you’re going, so there will quite possibly be a feeling from the visitors that just showing up will be enough to walk away with victory.  Teams that have that attitude against the BHN twos often walk away with their tails between their legs after an unexpected loss – hopefully this week will be another instance of this occurring.
 
Until next week, this is Turbo saying “I prefer the personal touch you only get with hired goons”.

Round 3 – Box Hill North v Kew
 
The last few mornings in Melbourne have been some of the coldest April mornings in history.  The overnight temperatures we have seen for the last week or so are usually reserved for the middle of July.  Another thing usually reserved for the middle of July is the phrase ‘crunch time’ when referring to a football team’s season.  But like the cold weather, ‘crunch time’ has come early.  With two losses from two home games including last week’s 83-point drubbing at the hands of Albert Park, another loss this week against Kew could almost spell and end to our finals chances just three weeks into the season.  The clash between the two sides last year saw Kew prevail by 36 points, but the final margin was not indicative of how tight the game actually was, Kew pumping up the margin with a few late goals.  The first three quarters of that game was an example of what BHN is capable of, so the boys will need to be on their game this week to avoid a similar result.  Video analysis of last week’s game showed that just a few lapses in concentration can have disastrous effects on the scoreboard. Similarly, a few lapses in reading the Melways can result in someone ending up in Templestowe when they are supposed to be in Blackburn, a fate suffered by our very own Crazy last Sunday.  Let’s hope he can find Kew, and that we can find the level of concentration required to register our first win for 2009.
 
Box Hill North have a poor record against Kew in reserves football, however this probably reflects more on how much Kew enjoy winning in the twos than anything else.  2009 has been unusual so far in that Kew’s seniors are actually outperforming their reserves, who have yet to taste victory whilst recording two heavy losses in the process.  This is very out of character for the 2008 D4 reserve premiers, and it also represents a great opportunity for BHN to reverse recent history and atone for the 72-point thrashing handed out by Kew in last year’s preliminary final.  Fair to say that the 44 players who line up for the respective sides tomorrow will look very different to the 44 who lined up in that preliminary final, so (fortunately for us) that result gives absolutely no indication of how this week’s game will pan out.  Avoiding the second-half fadeout that has plagued us in the first two rounds will go a long way to avoiding our third consecutive loss.
 
Until next week, this is Turbo saying “there’s bound to be some splashback”.

Round 2 - Box Hill North vs Albert Park

Hello there, and welcome to volume 2, issue 2 of Turbo’s Friday Preview.  This week’s battle (obligatory ANZAC Day reference) is against old foe Albert Park.  This is a continuation of our tough early draw with Albert Park being another 2008 finalist and possible premiership favourite, although this time it is people from outside their club predicting big things for them in 2009.  It is difficult know what to expect as it has been more than a year since these two sides have faced off against each other, the last clash taking place in round 1 last year.  It would seem that Albert Park have improved since then, as while they were good that day you would not have thought them capable of beating 2008 D4 premiers West Brunswick, which they managed to do in the latter half of last season.  Perhaps the on and off-field influence of Nathan Dallas has been the catalyst for this improvement, and he is certainly someone whose influence will need to be curtailed for Box Hill North to take the points.  That said, the Falcons have a number of very good players who will also need to be stopped.  The weather forecast for tomorrow is not a pleasant one, which brings back memories of a match between these sides in 2004.  In torrential conditions, Box Hill North held Albert Park to just 2 goals and ran out convincing 71-point winners.  Another performance like that will surely see us square the ledger at 1-1 for the season.  However even if the rain does not eventuate, last week showed glimpses of what we are capable of in fine weather.
 
The reserves are also looking for their first win of the season, and again come up against a side who they have a better record against than their senior counterparts, having not been beaten by Albert Park since 2005.  Of course last week showed that previous form won’t have any bearing on the final result, so the Albert Park 2’s will be confident of a victory.  The team that took the field last week consisted of just eight players who played regular reserves football last year, so we should see improvement in how well the side gels this week, considering how many players had not played together before last week’s game.  With very few changes made (bar the inclusion of some wily veterans thanks to the Supers team not having started their season yet), this gelling will be accelerated and Albert Park won’t be taking the walk in the park they might have otherwise thought they would be.
 
Until next week, this is Turbo saying “I sleep in a drawer”.

Round 1 – Box Hill North v Mt Lilydale
 
Footy’s back!  And, perhaps more importantly, so is Turbo’s Friday Preview for season 2009.  It has been a long off-season, with a number of changes taking place which give you the feeling that 2009 will be a fresh start for Box Hill North.  This Saturday will be the first time a Box Hill North senior side won’t appear in a VAFA match under Peter Armstrong, with Mark Hood (affectionately or otherwise known as Hoody) taking the reins.  He has brought with him a new approach and a new gameplan, and what better opportunity to test these out than a round 1 clash against 2008 finalists Mt Lilydale, who many people (especially people from Mt Lilydale) consider premiership favourites. Word on the street is that a number of new recruits will be fronting up for our opponents this week, however time will tell whether this will have any impact on the old adage “stop Rhodes, stop Mt Lilydale”.  Obviously we have had trouble stopping Rhodes in the past as we have not beaten Mt Lilydale in our time in the VAFA.  Could the inclusion of cult hero Troy Ellis change all this?  2009 is all about new beginnings, so let’s begin 2009 by doing something we’ve never done before.
 
When I heard the reserves team read out last night by newly-appointed coach (and hopefully recently-retired player) John Gallagher, what stood out was how many big guns had been named in the forward line.  The word ‘big’ can be taken a number of ways in that sentence, as anyone else who heard the names that were read out will attest.  The reserves have a much better record against Mt Lilydale than the seniors do, however the most recent clash between the two sides saw us go down unexpectedly, so it would be foolish to take the opposition lightly (pun not intended).  One thing that we will not need to worry about is kicking enough goals to win, as the four previously mentioned men have kicked a truckload of goals between them in their illustrious careers.  With some new and returning players keen to impress, as well as a number of established players wanting to stake a claim for a senior berth in the weeks to come, rest assured the forwards won’t be the only ones contributing to the final result.
 
Until next week, this is Turbo saying “sticking together is what good waffles do”.